In the past few weeks, I’ve thought a lot about my relationship with Christ and the amount of time I spend filling myself with God and His Word on a daily basis. I’ve thought a lot about how I’m constantly on the go with fewer and fewer minutes spent in reading and prayer.
I’ve been feeling very badly about it.
Three days ago, I tweaked my back something fierce. The sort of tweak that instantly made me think PLEASE DON’T LET THIS PAIN LAST LONG because (a) IT HURTS SO BAD and (b) I don’t have time to sit immobilized; I’ve got things to do. Important things like going to the gym, dashing across campus and running errands. There’s no time for sitting.
Sitting, however, is about the only pain-free thing I’ve been able to do. And since that first day—and every ensuing day when I hit the nerve just right and have to literally grab on to something for fear I’ll end up sprawled on the ground—I’ve decided I’m grateful I can still walk.
Today, on my third day of feeling very sadly about being in this incapacitated state, my feelings of I CANNOT SIT HERE AND DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING erupted, and I expressed my giant displeasure with my current state to my boyfriend.
Who graciously said (in probably fewer words), “You know, Jill, maybe you should view this downtime as a chance to slow down, relax and take in God. Do some reading. Do some praying.”
Gulp. My thoughts from the past week about my perpetual state of hurriedness surfaced, and I thought MY BOYFRIEND IS SMART. And while, he maybe can’t take credit for God speaking through him, I caught His drift. Of course, then I thought, “Seriously, God. A HOLY-SMOKES-PAINFUL backache just to get me to slow down?” Left eyebrow goes up. And then quickly comes down. It makes sense.
I’m not remotely good, in general, at sitting still or waiting patiently. I am far more skilled at being easily frustrated by having to sit still or wait patiently. Time and again, God asks us to sit quietly and commune with him, to wait on Him and to be longsuffering knowing that we will reap a reward at the right time. I began to think about the many individuals who have been standing on God’s promises for a long, long time. And how many of them are STILL sitting still and waiting patiently on Him and His perfect timing. I also thought about the many individuals who would give anything to only be sidetracked by a little back pain. And, I thought about how I really need to take more time to take in God. Because He really is that good.
While you’ll never convince me that pain is a good thing or a fun thing, I am convinced that being confronted with my short-sightedness and impatience WHILE making more time for God is never a bad thing.
I’ve certainly got the time to sit and think about it anyway.