One time, not very long ago, I gave our computer a virus, a worm and, maybe, a trojan. And, probably, H1N1. It was bad. Very, very bad. And, I felt very, very badly. Because I did it the day after Husband’s birthday. And, on a Friday. And, he had to spend HOURS—after working all day—to fix it.
I didn’t mean to give our computer H1N1. I was innocently surfing the Web and, apparently, clicked on a sketchy link.
At first, nothing happened. No page loaded. Then, Windows PC Defender popped up to tell me the computer had one billion very dangerous infections. WHAT?! Then, bad things began happening. There were flashing lights and everything!
So, naturally, I clicked on the Windows PC Defender that I thought would make everything right again. And MORE bad things happened.
Why, you ask? Because it wasn’t really Windows PC Defender that I clicked on. It was the fake-kind-of Windows PC Defender. The trojan-infecting, ruin-your-computer kind.
Oh, crap, I thought. Husband is NOT going to like this. Not one bit.
Seeing as how I was about to run out the door for the afternoon, I thought it best to text Husband the news: “what do i run on the comp to check for virus stuff? i clicked a link the comp hated.”
Two seconds later, I get a phone call from Husband, asking about the types of sites I was trying to view. I confessed to clicking on a site that I assumed was OK to open. Obviously, it wasn’t so-OK. I powered down for the remainder of the afternoon and went to watch my niece play basketball. I secretly hoped the computer was pretending to be ill for me only, and would spring back to life with Husband’s touch.
No such luck.
Husband sat down to look at the computer at 5:30 p.m., and asked me to explain, in very specific terms, what I did. No, I’m not sure exactly what the link was. Yes, I know I’m not supposed to “activate,” “run,” or “start now” anything that I’m not entirely sure about. But, I really did think it was our virus scan program. OK, yes, I pulled a rookie computer-user move. What? You’re revoking my computer privileges? Gah!
[Note: I’m actually dictating this post to my Husband who has promised to post it for me.]
I managed to pull Husband away for dinner around 7. I then proceeded to watch six episodes of TLC’s “Say Yes to the Dress” because I can’t help but be sucked into shows where brides drop anywhere from $5,000 to $10,000 or more on a wedding dress they will wear one time and, of course, not before they try on 806 gowns to make sure they really do love the very first dress they tried on.
All the while, apologizing non-stop to Husband (who I think was secretly impressed that I managed to make the computer malfunction as well as I did) for making an absolute mess of the computer and asking him if I could get him anything or help in anyway. And, of course, the Blue Jays weren’t helping the mood any. Sure, they were winning at that point, but it wasn’t going to matter. They already threw away their entire season. What a waste! But, I digress.
By 11:30 p.m., I couldn’t stay awake. An hour or so later, Husband came to bed. I remember him telling me not to use the computer if I woke up early because it wasn’t quite ready yet. Oy vey, again. Seven hours of trying to rid the computer of H1N1, and it still needed work. What a nasty cold!
I felt very, very, very badly. Husband woke up early and ran a few more prompts on the screen before returning to bed once more. When I rolled out of bed for good, there was a Post-It note on the monitor: “Not ready yet.” Oh boy. Husband woke up around 10—probably far too early considering the amount of screen-staring he did the day before—and went right back to the computer.
I think by noon Saturday, I was allowed to think about checking my e-mail again. However, I’m pretty sure Husband had some major reservations about letting me near the computer. Even after I promised to be more careful about clicking on things.
And, even after the Scouts’ Honor and everything.
Bad, H1N1. Bad!