Biddies by the beach

Technically, they’re by the pool, but “biddies” sounds much better with “beach.” Plus, I’m a fan of alliteration.

Anyway, there may be nothing more relaxing in this entire world than a beach vacation. It’s true. We live in a cold climate. Typically, a BRRRRRR, THIS WINTER IS FREEZING COLD climate. So, when we get the opportunity to spend some days in a warmer place, we take it. Plus, Husband is always up for working on his tan. Always.

While spending these past few days in the sun, I’ve decided that our perfect vacation day includes:

(1) A bright sun;
(2) Warm temperatures;
(3) A gentle breeze;
(4) The sound of ocean waves rolling up on the beach;
(5) A pool;
(6) A comfortable lounge chair;
(7) A cold beverage;
(8) Snacks;
(9) Endless sunscreen; and, most importantly,
(10)  A giant beach towel.

Really, the giant beach towel is key. Nobody likes to lie on a tea towel.

Thankfully, we’ve had each of these items in abundance since we’ve been here. Which is especially great considering January, February and much of March were horrible—weather-wise, or so we’ve heard. We’ve been taking full advantage of the weather and spending as much time poolside as possible.

Which means we’re also getting an added “bonus.”

From Day One, our perfect days by the pool have included the incessant chatter of older women who gather in the far corner day in and day out. Each morning, they rise early to mark their territory, lining up chairs and laying out towels. By the time we arrive—at 9 or 10—their deeply browned selves are deeply immersed in conversation. Conversation which can be heard no matter how far away we set up shop or how loud we turn up our music.

It doesn’t matter where we sit, we can hear them updating one another on activities from the night before, the most recent weather forecast (very popular), the latest on each and every grandchild (extremely popular), current health ailments (über popular), plans for lunch, plans for snacks, plans for dinner, plans for Easter, their likes and dislikes of the Catholic churches in the area, the books they’re reading, the evils of Facebook, the best grocery deals at Publix, how to make the BEST Bloody Mary and, of course, the latest condo gossip.

From early morning to late, late afternoon, the group grows and shrinks and grows again based on everyone’s eating habits. The one constant? The conversation. It’s a continuous flow of verbiage.

Which is curious considering many of these women (and their spouses) have been here for three months or so. They never, ever, ever run out of things to say. Nor do they ever, ever, ever chat quietly amongst themselves.

Which means every two minutes, I get to hear Husband say something to the effect of “Seriously? Seriously. S.E.R.I.O.U.S.L.Y.” All he wants to do is read his book or listen to his music in peace. Instead, he’s stuck trying to filter out endless, mindless chatter.

Me? I find it all rather amusing. What can I say? The fact that these ladies can go on and on and on and on and on about the most mundane topics without stopping to take a breath leaves me in awe. Oh, the details! The descriptions! The minutiae!

Plus, the weather is fantastic. They can chatter away all day as far as I care, as long as they don’t chatter the sun away. Wait a second. Are those clouds I see?

Boo, chatter. Boo!


4 thoughts on “Biddies by the beach

  1. Mom says:

    Is there a possibility that said husband could wear a popular-style earphones that pipe in the gentle sounds of favorite music and read at same time? This would take care of the ladies’ conversations that ‘seriously’ affect his concentration. However, if this would interfere hearing his beloved’s voice who is beside him, then I think he should continue just saying “S*E*R*I*O*U*S*L*Y”!

    • jilladuling says:

      Oh, Mom. The sound carries OVER the headphones we both wear. But, it’s OK. We’re still taking in the sun and warm temperatures. They’re totally worth the annoyance.

  2. dave says:

    you know one day you may just be one of those biddies and then what will your husband do?

    • jilladuling says:

      My husband will play shuffleboard or fish because those are the only two acceptable activities for the spouse of a biddy. True story.

      Oh, and bring me snacks.

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