When I was home last, and cleaning out a closet, I found a stack of papers from high school. Apparently, I didn’t throw away many completed assignments. And, thankfully so, because you never know when you’ll want to look way back just to see how far you’ve come.
When I was in Grade 9, I wrote this persuasive essay:
Down with Dusting
Did you ever have a rule at home when you were young that you hated ever since you could hold a rag? Something that Mom said you had to do about four times a week? Something you never brought up in hopes that your mother would forget? Dusting should be forbidden in everyone’s home because it’s hazardous to people’s health, never seems to ever be entirely done, and is a terrible way to consume time.
Dusting is very hazardous to people’s health. Dust inhaled into the lungs can collect instead of filtering back into the atmosphere. It can bother delicate and sensitive tissues. This can cause uncontrollable sneezing and watery eyes.
Another good reason to abolish dusting is because it never seems to be all the way done. The dust rises into the air and settles again when I blink or turn my head. What is the reason for dusting if this is what really happens? Dusting also has to be done at least four times a week or else Mom goes ballistic. Other members of my family always ask me when I’m going to dust, even if I just did.
The last reason dusting should be ruled unlawful is because it is a terrible way to consume time. It’s a very boring process that takes a long time to complete. I have to shake out all the doilies and coverlets and then re-arrange all the miscellaneous items to look like they did before I started. As soon as I finish one room, there’s at least three more to be done.
In sum, dusting houses really isn’t necessary. It takes a long time to dust, but a short time for the dust to settle. Dusting should be ruled out of everyone’s household because it’s hazardous to people’s health, never seems to be all the way done, and is a terrible way to consume time.
Do you feel persuaded?
I’m going to step out on a limb and guess that our class was working on constructing strong thesis statements and organizing ideas into five-paragraph essays—ones with an introduction, body and conclusion. And, perhaps, we were toying with the expression “Tell people what you’re going to tell them. Tell them. Then tell them what you told them.”
I’m also going to guess that I absolutely hated dusting and wrote this just before or just after having completed my weekly chore. Forgive me, Lord (and Mom). I was a bitter duster. And, I probably bruised my reader with this vindictive essay. Awesome.
Poor Mom. I’m pretty sure, looking back, that she never really went ballistic. That was Dad. OK, I kid; I kid. But, ballistic. That’s a great word.
My teacher’s comments? “Jill, I totally agree! Your essay is very organized and you clearly express your ideas! You have few surface errors which is fantastic! Keep up the good work!”
Hooray for exclamation marks!